Introduction
Still Figuring It Out
I have been blessed with friends.
From friendships I made as a child, to friends I met at work, church, university, airports, weddings and other random places, friendships have shown up in various
places for me.
Some friendships have lasted for years. Some grew in specific periods and stayed. Some did not. But one thing I have learnt is how to handle different social circles, personalities and problems. Sometimes, with wisdom and other times, pretty poorly.
Last year, I experienced a series of friendship moments that rattled me. There was a weird kind of tension with my closest friends and though things did not look dramatic on the outside, it really made me pause and think.
Not for a day or a week, no, this thinking process lasted months. I started questioning what I believed about those friendships, noticing my own patterns, and having deeper conversations that helped me see clearer. It was
uncomfortable. It was necessary. This book came out of that season.
So, if you are reading this and perhaps working through some difficult questions, know that you are not alone. If you have often found yourself thinking, ‘this is really
hard,’ then this little book was written with you in mind. And when you are done reading, do not rush away. At the end of this book, you will find a special workbook section, questions to help you think and examine your friendship patterns, your growth, and your heart.
I hope they meet you where you are and help you see yourself and your friendships with a little more clarity.
Chapter 1: You Are Not Alone
Once upon a time, making friends was as easy as sharing a bunk bed in boarding house or reading for exams together. Friendships were naturally formed over classes and late night gist but somewhere between our jobs, marriages, children, moving and just plain adulting, it started to feel... complicate...